Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
