I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
