The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
