May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
