Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You ruined the universe
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
