We're like a lot better than the average bears
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He called his prostate his "boner button".
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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