im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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