he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
