Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
