Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
