so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
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He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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