you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
