Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
