Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
