pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Randomize
