I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
