so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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