Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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