I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
