He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
