Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize