I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
North Korea, Best Korea!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
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you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
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Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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