Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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