Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
