Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
