I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
time to smoke my breakfast
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
