This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
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Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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