i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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