oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
