I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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