Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
