I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
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I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
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I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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