You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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