Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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