just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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