The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
