I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
