Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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