My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
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all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
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I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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