The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just want to make out with him forever
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
