Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
