I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
