I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
