I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
