too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i think im in europe. pls send help
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
