So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
