I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
