Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
