I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
