Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
