hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
