fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
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Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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