went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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