you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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