Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
