stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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