just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
