he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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