"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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