whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
