I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
