Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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