ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Ew, and?!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.

  Fav 36 1266 8059

  share tweet
  

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.

  Fav 12 3171 1314

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (325): View more from Texas

  I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.

  Fav 6 2095 2379

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?

  Fav 5 2331 1122

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (949): View more from California

  Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.

  Fav 6 2448 964

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment

  Fav 2 846 1647

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.

  Fav 8 2278 1021

  share tweet
  

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool

  Fav 5 1403 701

  share tweet
  

• (765): View more from Indiana

  DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!

  Fav 5 1003 554

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment

  Fav 2 715 450

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.

  Fav 4 897 570

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (620): View more from Kansas

  Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!

  Fav 0 522 381

  share tweet
  

• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?

  Fav 0 272 188

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit

  Fav 1 10 33

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (510): View more from California

  Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.

  Fav 3 72 25

  share tweet
  

Randomize