Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket http://tfl.nu/nqxt
  Replies (76) Good night (39314) Bad night (2155)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot? http://tfl.nu/rnjj
  Replies (17) Good night (793) Bad night (3117)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after http://tfl.nu/7p4f
  Replies (8) Good night (704) Bad night (5682)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already. http://tfl.nu/ar92
  Replies (12) Good night (3797) Bad night (1827)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally http://tfl.nu/s3gk
  Replies (25) Good night (2678) Bad night (1406)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water http://tfl.nu/5vey
  Replies (8) Good night (3379) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I am NOT getting arrested in a wig. http://tfl.nu/5nul
  Replies (15) Good night (2677) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried... http://tfl.nu/88kq
  Replies (5) Good night (1009) Bad night (2621)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird. http://tfl.nu/9ztz
  Replies (9) Good night (924) Bad night (2235)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere. http://tfl.nu/srvw
  Replies (9) Good night (3649) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out. http://tfl.nu/chur
  Replies (10) Good night (4298) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina, http://tfl.nu/dlk2
  Replies (15) Good night (1229) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date. http://tfl.nu/hoqh
  Replies (1) Good night (697) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture. http://tfl.nu/4zls
  Replies (3) Good night (747) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer. http://tfl.nu/cak3
  Replies (3) Good night (881) Bad night (374)

Randomize