We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.