Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

Woah.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

that's not how you spell hell yes.

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(251): View more from Alabama

i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once

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(917): View more from New York City

Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.

(843): View more from South Carolina

drunk me is so punny.

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These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
Read it at the TFLN blog
(206): View more from Washington

Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year

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