woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
That accounts for only three of the penises
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize