i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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