I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
