I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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