I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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